If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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