Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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