I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
