He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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