the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
