I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Is this like a preordered booty call?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
