Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
