Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
