you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
