The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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