So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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