And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
