After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
