C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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