What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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