All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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