ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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