haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
