I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
