i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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