you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
did you just send me my own nude
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
