At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My breasts were aching with rage.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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