Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
