He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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