how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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