oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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