you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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