id be glad to
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
