then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
wow bdsm is so cute
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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