Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
