Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
