very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
