omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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