i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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