do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
