It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
