I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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