Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
