Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
