I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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