My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
