is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
