she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
