Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
