FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
