The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
