Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
