It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
