is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Do vagina's smell?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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