I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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