i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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